Relined
I’m not sure what hurts more—the fact that you dumped me by using the same line you used on her, or the fact that you didn’t even remember telling me that you used it on her.
Or Not
I think I should I save my deepthroating skills for a guy who actually likes me.
Thankful
Happy Thanksgiving! I am still thankful for your friendship. I wish that it could be more, but I’ll take what I can get for now.
All the Fixins
My buddies are like, “Let’s go out tonight and get some Holiday Ass.” But I only want yours.
The Sentra of You
I hated that rental car I was driving the short time we hung out, but my mind wants it back because it thinks you would be back in my life along with it.
Tiger Town
Why it was so easy for you have passion about Auburn football, but so difficult to care about anything else?
Two Things
I still have never seen more beautiful children than ours. We did two things right.
Feeling Old
You are the oldest feeling I have now.
Dodgeville
Believe me, I did you a favor by picking the other guy. Just ask him.
Don't Have a Prayer
I only go to church to see you.
July, July
The moment I lifted my finger to your cheek to remove that gnat from your face ruined me. Your stubble was glowing under the sun.
Lower that Lowe's
Went looking for a switch so I could turn off my feelings for you just like that. Where did you get yours?
Dear Old Bank
It’s sad that we’re over. Now I have to pay for my lunch and cabs.
Jerk-Speak
I’m amazed how long it took me to understand that “Missing you” was jerk-speak for “I’m bored.”
Instead, Silence
All the things I’d like to text you:
If only we could hang out right now.
Wanna see Kimya Dawson with me?
I’m taking a class about espionage.
Did you watch Grey’s Anatomy? I cried.
Wish I could be a better friend.
About this
"Dear Old Love" is short notes to people we've loved (or at least liked). Requited or unrequited.
The ex-husband in Grace Paley's short story "Wants" says to his ex-wife, "I attribute the dissolution of our marriage to the fact that you never invited the Bertrams to dinner." If you're bitter, that's the way to express it here.
Please email pithy, specific "Dear Old Love" notes to dearoldlove(at)gmail.com. Posted submissions will be anonymous, and all submissions will be held in confidence. I would never sell or give away your email. (I wouldn't even know how.) If privacy is a concern, use an account with a pseudonym.
By emailing me, you're granting a permanent, royalty-free license to edit and use your "Dear Old Love" note in any way, but your note will remain anonymous. Dear Old Love will be published as a book by Workman in Fall, 2009. My name is Andy Selsberg. Thanks. Enjoy.
