February 2012
Fishing
All he wants to do is go fishing, but you dangled my scarf over the balcony and proclaimed you were “fishing for pretty girls” and wouldn’t stop until I grabbed it.
Wasted
Paris was wasted on you.
Just Enough
He looks just enough like you to kill me every time his innocent little face breaks into a smile.
So Proud
Just realized I forgot your birthday this year. I’ve never been so proud of forgetting something.
Everyone Else
Everyone else sucks and I don’t want to be alone.
No Lip
You kissed my cheeks, my hair, my forehead…even my knee once. But never my lips. The frustration was soul destroying.
Therapizing
Therapy has done nothing to help me in the three years since I discovered you cheated on me with a friend.
Greatest Mistaking
Your greatest mistake was letting me go. Mine was thinking it was all my fault.
Don't Know When
One day I will stop hurting, and remember the good times. I just don’t know when.
Last Time
I think of the last time I saw you almost every day.
Shelf Lifed
You said you’d never had a relationship last longer than 3 years. I just realized that our 8 years together contained only 3 good years.
This Thing
it doesn’t feel like this thing is gonna go away.
Class Fodder
The only positive thing that came out of our relationship is the dramatic experiences and emotions I can now put into poetry for my poetry class.
Always Wondered
I always wondered if it was love, or was it just a moment of loneliness that brought us together.
The Secrets that I Keep
I first said “I love you” in my sleep. Same thing with “I want to leave”.
Certain Charm
Our “thing” had a certain charm we won’t be able to recapture with anyone else.
Waiting to Feel
I left you because I knew it was the right thing to do; I’m just waiting to feel like it was the right thing to do.
Rescue Me
I tell myself every day, several times, I want to be the hero of my life’s story. But the truth is, I’m waiting for you to rescue me with a simple “I want you back.”
Because of Me
I know you didn’t leave because of me. But I’ll always wonder—if I’d been better, would you have stayed because of me?
Hearing Laughter
Someone once told me, if you love someone enough, you can still hear their laughter when they’re gone. I can’t help but wonder if you hear mine as often as I hear yours.
Juno What?
Do you still think of that night when we fell in love every time you see Juno?
Ab. Worst
I don’t know which I hate more: that I got your absolute worst, or that she’s getting your absolute best.
Semi-Good
I love my new job and I’m semi-good at it, too. But most of the time I think how awesome you’d be at it.
DVDone
The last film we saw together came out on DVD; I look forward to fewer thoughts of you resulting from movie trailers.
Saving the Ashes
A month from today I’m going to burn the last letter I ever wrote you, on the anniversary of its writing. But I’ll save the ashes.
Turns Out
Hey whaddayaknow: I replaced you without skipping a beat. Someone hotter, too. So that’s pretty sweet stuff right there cuz I thought I was going to be all like boo hoo love of my life boo hoo I miss you. Turns out it’s all mashed potatoes and gravy over here.
Still Flipping
I saw you today. We talked for a minute and I laughed and said, “A lot has changed in two years.” What hasn’t changed is the terrible flipping sensation I get in my stomach when I see you.
Magic 8
I wish I had a magic ball and known what I know now—I wouldn’t have missed out on so many movies, books and friends time.
Sizing
I’d love to get back together with you, but honestly, I want to try someone else on for size first.
Missing Nothing
I miss lying in your arms and doing absolutely nothing.
S.A.J.
I’m sad because of the history. I’m angry because of the lies. I’m jealous because of what he now shares with you.
Back in Time
Last night, on the way to meet my first date since we broke up, I unexpectedly passed the place where we had our first date. Never ever in my life had I wanted so badly to go back in time.
Drunk Ghost
There are nights when I get so drunk I’m this close to picking up the phone and calling you. But I never do. To me you are perfect, but since you’ve replaced me, I guess I’m a ghost.
Everything I Had
I put everything I had into making us work. I have no regrets about that.
Maybe
If I had been weak and needy, would you have loved me?
Never Had, Still Lost
I felt like I lost everything that I never even had in the beginning.
First Time
Sometimes I think you’re blocking me out of your life just so I know how it feels the 73946184962864287 times I did it to you when I tried to break up with you. We should have broken up the first time.
Longest and Least
Looking back on all of my past relationships, I realized that ours was the longest relationship I had ever been in, yet the one I was least devastated by when it ended.
Feet Me
I always referred to your toenails as claws and I hated it when you put your cold feet on mine at night, but these days I’d do anything to feel your cold feet scratching mine again.
Considered
You were the most considerate person I ever dated. I miss being considered.
No Need
It’s true that I don’t need you. I want you. Why can’t you understand that that is much more powerful?
Shoulds
Where I am and where I should be are two different things. I should have made more of an effort with your kids. We should be married by now.
Next Room
I told you all I ever wanted was for you to be happy even if it wasn’t with me, but when I hear you laughing with her in the next room all I can do is cry and wish I was in her place.
Stuff You Like
When I’m shopping in the grocery store I still buy the stuff you like. I’m not sure why I do that.
Fountain
In the fountain outside your dorm, you told me there were two “normal” angels spitting water, one projectile vomiting, and one that was the “special cousin.” Even 2 years later, I stifle a laugh when I walk by.
6 Months
I broke your heart and mine. And 6 months later, mine is the only one still hurting.
Phantom Steps
I thought we were at the beginning of our time together. And you already thought it was the end. The feeling I’m left with reminds me of a phantom step.
Good and Bad
You were the first guy I ever admitted to loving. I’ll never forget the way you made me feel and how you understood the crap I was going through. I’ll also never forget that you didn’t have the balls to apologize for keeping your girlfriend a secret.
Art of Love
Being with you was like art to me. Strange, complex, confusing, delightful and beautifully exciting all at once. I wish it hadn’t ended, but thank you for awakening the artist in me.
Sorry in a Way
I’ve recently discovered that I’m asexual and have no real romantic desires. I feel like that should explain a lot about us. I’m sorry, in a way, and I wish you all the happiness in the world.