I hated the beard I grew for you.
I miss falling asleep to the sound of you rubbing your feet together.
Our relationship may have turned into a Rubik’s Cube, but I like having your colors mixed up with mine.
How We Meet
I watch “How I Met Your Mother” every time it’s on just to feel close to you, hoping you think of me when you watch, too.
I miss your hugs more than anything. I never felt so much comfort and warmth from a person so skinny before.
Another and Another
People warned me about dating musicians. I thought they only meant guitarists or singers, but apparently drummers count, too.
I wish I didn’t waste my whole summer in front of the TV with you. [NOTE: Dear Old Love Corp. heartily endorses wasting summers in front of TV with people.]
You always were a wicked flirt…but what are you hoping happens?
In-Box of Wonder
Back when, just seeing your name in my in-box gave me a boner. I miss those days.
Bad timing—I was just about to introduce you to your next favorite author.
I’m looking forward to deleting you from all my contact lists. Someday. Soon. Maybe.
No way do you get to keep the banjo.
Face in the Crowd
I will always look for your face in the crowd. That, however, does not mean I want to see it.
You seem so much happier than you did a year ago. It kills me that I had nothing to do with that.
Maybe it was a sign that you always had to convince me to come over.
You weren’t one for clichés, so you must have meant it.
Please don’t pretend that you are the victim just because you didn’t realize you were in love with me until after you left.
You seemed take a detour along the way and got lost.
You told me I’d understand one day. Today is that one day.
No, A Proposal at 16 Is Crazy
When you proposed to me when we were 16, I thought you were crazy. Now I’m 21 and I realize the crazy part was letting you go.
Game of Pretend
Forgetting you will always be a game of pretend.
You blurted out “I love you” when we were drunk and just friends the first year of college. I was speechless—in a bad way. I’m sorry. It’s taken me 3 years to realize I love you, too.
Telling myself that the timing just wasn’t right eases the pain of you not caring about me anymore.
I always wish we had switched those Haribo rings with real ones.
Even when you were burning through girls like matchsticks, you never once thought of me as flammable.
When I met you, I stopped dyeing my hair. I thought it was because I was comfortable enough to “be my genuine self” around you. Now I realize I was just being lazy.
I remember thinking that I would be so, so devastated when things ended. They did, and I am.
I can’t unravel you from the fabric of my mind anymore.
Start telling the whole truth when people ask why we don’t talk anymore.
I’m sorry for getting mad at you for beating my high score on Doodle Jump.
I look at those days in Boston like they are some gorgeous extinct creature that I didn’t realize I could have saved, but instead petted and walked away from.
I Don't Wanna Go To...
Do I need social media rehab to get over you?
Is The Word
If you know the word, say it. If not, leave me alone.
Sometimes I think you only said sweet things to fatten me up for the kill.
In high school, you broke my heart every day for two years by dating all my friends. When I saw you for the first time in 15 years, my heart seemed to have forgotten about that.
I miss hearing the bat phone ring and knowing that there could only be one person on the other end of the line.
I just wanted to fight dragons with you.
Not So Sure
I’ve never been so sure of anything as I was of you. Now, I can’t trust my own judgment.
Steal 'n' Ride
My cycling instructor yelled out, “Ride it like you stole it!” So, my question is, “Can I steal you?”
Everybody was rooting for us but you.
I always looked up the lyrics in your away messages, but you never looked up the lyrics in mine.
You told me I wasn’t open to love, but there’s no open or not open because love just happens, Fool.
I miss the way your mom used to make scrambled eggs for me.
You were the only one my parents trusted. Maybe that’s why I’m still not over you.
Trying to bury all these feelings I have for you…I’m still hoping this is more of a time capsule than a funeral.
Please hold me.
Funny how we can both ignore that I still love you, and pretend to be friends.
On our first date, you said “Money is just an illusion,” and I thought you were so progressive and intelligent.
Hoping and Faithing
You told me that our kids would be called Hope and Faith. I am still waiting for that day.
The Four You Were Hoping For
I gained those four pounds you were hoping for. My boobs look magnificent. You’ll never know.