I Want It That Other Way
You were everything I’d ever wanted, just not in the way I wanted it.
First, You Ask So Rudely!
What the hell is wrong with you? Why can’t you just love me?
Anger's a Feeling
These days, I can’t tell if the fast beating of my heart whenever I see you is due to lingering feelings or anger.
When I slipped comfortably into a size 4 last night, all I could see in the mirror was how much you’d miss that absent hundred pounds of me.
Sweet Texts Ain't Everything
He sent me more sweet texts this week than you sent me in the year we were together.
Why didn’t you ever use your tongue?
I miss you. No, that doesn’t mean come back. It just means I miss you.
I never intended for every boy I’d ever loved to come tumbling out of the woodwork as soon as you decided that you were serious about me.
I gave you the only special ringtone out of all my contacts.
When you said you were moving all my well-known nervous butterflies committed suicide.
How To Be Adorable
When I found myself using one of our “things” to (very successfully) flirt, I wanted to vomit. But also to thank you for setting such a good example of how to be adorable.
I meant every word.
We met over raw fish; sashimi was our aphrodisiac. I shouldn’t be surprised that you left me gutted and filleted.
For Times Like Now
Once upon a time I asked you for your picture, and you asked me why. It was for times like now, when I miss you, fifteen years later.
From this windowless computer lab I keep hearing doors opening and closing, and footsteps coming down the hall. Why oh why can’t they be yours, coming to get me?
We talked about Boston, law school, and my upcoming wedding, but my mind was having vivid flashbacks to the night you had me pinned against the wall…now that was a good kiss.
We’ve gone from friends, to best friends, to boyfriend and girlfriend, to nothing, and now we’re back at friends. We’ve come full circle and baby, I’m spinning.
I told my wife all about you. Sure, it was in my sleep while on Ambien. But I did it.
Pet Name Factory
We created and destroyed so many good pet names together.
Rolling Off the Bed
You used to complain because I’d nearly roll off the bed so often. I wasn’t asleep. I just wanted to feel loved, your big arms around me. But you never could replicate it when you weren’t half asleep…
I know we’ll get back together because the Jersey Shore is coming back.
Or Somebody Else
I’m keeping your toothbrush right next to mine, because I hope someday soon you will be here to use it.
A Type of Problem
I fear I’m only interested in him because he reminds me of you. Does that mean I have a “type” or a problem?
After you kissed me, I couldn’t walk in a straight line. How am I supposed to walk away from you?
Stomp And Circumstance
I still thought you’d congratulate me on graduating.
I have always struggled with identifying normal social cues, let alone your abnormal ones.
Twists & Turns
When I read The Odyssey, about Odysseus’s ten-year struggle to get back to Penelope, I always used to wonder why he didn’t just give up and find a different woman in his travels. Now I’m creeping up to his record. I finally get it.
Googling you used to be fun. Now the Internet just feels booby-trapped.
I should have been reading your eyes instead of listening to your words.
Best Cheat Ever
Cheating on me was the best thing that you could have done for me.
Birds keep smacking into my window. The one that hit this morning was only stunned, able to fly away. Please let that be me.
The night you officially ended things was the same night I wanted to make things official.
Whenever I see you walk into work I feel like I am seeing a ghost.
I miss standing on the ledge in the deep end of the pool and talking to you for hours and hours about nothing. P.S. That pool was freaking cold—I only went in it to spend time with you.
Remember when we cuddled up in that diner booth, eating rhubarb pie on a snowy North Dakota Christmas morning?
You never called me beautiful. Sexy, yes. Hot, yes. Cute, even. But never beautiful.
I always needed directions, you claimed you never got lost. Now it seems the only road we managed to follow is the one out of each other’s lives.
I wish we could catch up over drinks sometime, and finally it’ll be my turn to prove to you that I’ve moved on when you try to drunkenly kiss me.
I wasn’t in love with you yet, but I’d spent so much time planning on eventually falling in love with you, and having a beautiful relationship, that when you left I felt like all of my future plans had been crushed.
I think that the person I thought you were and the person you actually are are different. But I miss them both.
Google tells me that in 2006 you changed the spelling of your name. I knew your mother was normal. And yet I miss you—I was never good speller anyway.
We were so close that for a long time after you ended it, I counted the people I dated with decimal points.
I told you that you were my favorite and you responded with “Sweet.”
I always think of you when I take a bath because you were the only man I’d ever heard admit to loving them.
The blanket that my grandparents brought back from Korea still sits on my bed, waiting to keep us warm together.
Love and Hat
If we are going to be just friends you should probably not look at me like that every time I put on a hat.
The Old Man and the Sea and We
On the pier an old man stopped us to say he knew we were in love. He even took a picture. It took him a few tries to get it right. I would have stood next to you in the sun and sea air forever, and I’d give anything to have that picture now.
I wasn’t what you wanted, I was what you settled for because you couldn’t have her. What is so sad is that I knew it the whole time and still let you pretend to love me back.
I still regret that I didn’t call off my wedding after you appeared on my doorstep that night, begging me not to go through with it.
It kills me that it took you months to get over your ex. You were over me before we even ended.