May 2013
Bad Spell
I should’ve known you weren’t interested when, after two years of being in love with you, I found out that you didn’t even know how to spell my first name.
So You
I keep having dreams where we reconnect. Your smiles seem so genuine and things almost seem like the way they used to be. But then you leave suddenly without even saying goodbye, and I’m heartbroken again. It all seems so real. It just seems so…you.
So Far
The greatest tragedy of my life so far is not being able to fall madly in love with you.
Clearly
You told me that you fantasize about me to get off. You helped me pick out my newest piece of lingerie, and you really enjoy talking with me about everything. Yet you are dating her…. Why aren’t we together? We dated when we were kids and clearly you want me still.
Lucks
You always promised me happiness but never delivered. He started by showing he could give me happiness then promised to never let it pass. I’m lucky I found him. You’re lucky I didn’t stay with you and resent you for it.
Actress
whoa whoa whoa, wait just a minute. You mean to tell me that after all the times you said I was crazy and nothing but drama in our relationship, you are now dating an actress? Sooo does this miss mean that somewhere deep down you miss me?
Belted
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like if I had run away with you when you asked. We were 18. You were selling belts and traveling with your relatives. It’s been almost 4 years and you’re still selling belts and traveling. And I’m here…still wondering.
Not Once
I’m actually proud of myself.
I haven’t looked at your Facebook profile since you left. Not once.
Wish I Were
I wish that I were a bigger person.
I wish that I could wish only for your happiness.
But I’m not that nice, I’m not that big, and I only hope that losing me eats you up with regret.
Two Things
The work t-shirt I always slept in and the necklace you bought me, are the only two things I can bare to keep. Everything else is just a reminder, that we’re still in love but can’t be together.
Every Corner
You are in each and every corner of my soul. Often and always, you are strolling through my mind and my thoughts and memories, tainting them with happiness and a softness I haven’t found again. In case you were wondering…I miss you.
Don't Be Bigger
While I appreciate you trying to be the bigger person, wouldn’t it have just been easier to let this go so we could both move on?
Hem
I remember when our class had to form a line to go to lunch, and I’d try to stand right behind you. When we’d start moving, that’s when I’d grab hold of the hem of your shirt. You have no idea how happy I was doing that.
Still Preparing
Whenever we went to the mall, you’d always sneak up behind me and grab my butt. Over a year later, whenever I go shopping, I still find myself preparing to feel your hand on my ass.
Every Time
Every time I fuck her, whoever she is, I think of you.
Still Wonderful
I met you again for the first time in seven years. When I saw you, I thought, “What was I thinking?”
And then we spoke, and I thought, “That’s what it was.”
You’re still a wonderful human being.
Clean
We used to talk about shower sex when we were still in love. I had shower sex with my new boyfriend yesterday. I have a feeling it was way better then it ever would have been with you.
Driving Past
Witnessing you drive past my house to see if I was home or you could see me made me smile for the small fact that maybe, you’re having trouble getting over me. Maybe you’re haunted by the memories of us whenever you touch your new gf.
Stop Asking
Please stop asking me how I’m doing; acting like you still care.
Small to Big
The world seemed so small when you and I found each other so far away from our homelands. Now that we have parted, it seems so disheartening huge…
Killers
It’s weird. The Killers are coming back to Columbus, and I am not going to see them with you. Remember when The Killers = Me = The best night of your life?
That was our music. I guess it’s just mine now.
Not Crying
I thought maybe I wasn’t crying because I didn’t care. How sad to realize it was because I was paralyzed by misery.
I Mean Really
I used to have to tickle you before we’d take a picture so that you actually had a cute smile on your face. What is with your awkward photo taking face?! I mean really.
Hi/gh
You actually looked at me and smiled, instead of running away, as our mutual friend you were with said hi to me. I’m positive you must have been high.
Beard
I always loved your beard, but I’m gad to see you shaved it. It makes me want you less.
Hitting the Road
I wonder if your new girlfriend will have sex with you in the car while you drive down the interstate. When she says no, maybe you’ll realize that I really did give you everything you wanted.
I’m sorry
Poison
I’ve never felt for anyone the way I feel about you. You’re never far from my thoughts. And then the guilt catches up with me, for loving you, while loving and being with him. He doesn’t deserve the poison that is my life.
Thank You
The only thing left to do is to thank you for loving me when I felt I didn’t deserve love, even from myself. You held on to me when all I wanted to do was let go of everything. Sadly when I finally realized I need to love myself, I didn’t feel love for you.
Who?
Remember those ‘I love you more’ arguments we used to have? You didn’t want to let me win so we never finished that play-argument. Since we’re over now, I guess we know who’s the winner.
Committed
Now that we have both committed to different colleges in the fall, I can’t stop thinking about the last time I will ever lie with you, laughing and loving, in your bed. That moment is much too fast approaching.
New Songs
When we met in the forest for goodbyes, you told me you’d written a total of ten songs about me since I left you. Then you thanked me for giving you the inspiration to write about something other than songs about being in love. For your sake, I hope you forget me.
Loved not Let
I think you mistook my intentions…
I wanted to be loved, not lead on.
Stronger
Forcing myself to go back through 2 years worth of pictures is greatly helping me come to terms that once you were a better person than you are now.
But now I’m stronger, happier & have a hotter body than ever before…and you’re still angry and obsessed with what we once were.
Huh
You still have photos of us up on your facebook - ones YOU uploaded, including profile pictures. Guess you’re not over me, huh.
Hands
You held my hands and said “Your hands are cold” and I said “and yours are so warm”. But mine weren’t cold and I believe you knew.
Teacup
I did one last check of my apartment before moving out and found the tea cup you bought me while you were in China. We don’t talk anymore, but that’s still the most thoughtful gift someone has ever given me.
Funnier
I haven’t made my Twitter private because I want you to be reminded of how much funnier I am than you in 140 characters or less.
All the Time
You said that you’re a dick and an asshole. I didn’t believe you. You told me it’s because I brought out the best in you. Now that I’m not with you, I’m not around you, I think what a shame it is that everyone else must think you’re such a dick all the time.
Special Spot
How is it that you are still the person I think of before falling asleep? It’s terribly selfish of you to disallow anyone else that very special spot in my mind. I wish you would just disappear.
To You
I bet it feels good to know that you have power over people whose existence you barely consider. But realize this: someday this may happen to you. Someday someone might look right through you and all you want to mean to them. And I hope that, when it happens, you remember you did it, too.
Jellyfish
I once told you that jellyfish were the only thing I was more scared of than losing you.
Now I’ve lost you, and I would swim through an entire ocean of jellyfish if you were waiting for me on the other side.
Unsweet 16
16 Months. It’s been 16 months since we were “together.” In that time, we have hooked up several times…but it hasn’t been the same. I fucking miss you. I want those months prior to those 16 months. I don’t love you, or want you back….I just want you back in my life.
All Wrong
You’re all wrong for me, and I need to let you go… But could I hold on for just a little longer? Get drunk on your kisses just a few times more? I don’t think that would make me hurt anymore than I do right now.
Don't Deserve
You don’t deserve a shitty life
You don’t deserve the abandonment of your friends
Nor do you don’t deserve to spend your life alone
But most of all, you sure as hell don’t deserve me
Unblocked
I see you finally decided to unblock me on facebook. But every time I see your ugly face all I can think is how much I hate you.
Lesson
Letting you go has been, is, and will continue to be the worst thing I’ve ever had to do. Despite this, you have taught me a powerful lesson that I won’t soon forget: just because you love someone doesn’t mean you belong together, but that doesn’t make your love any less special or important.
Mine
I feel like a child, but you were mine first and she can’t have you. Just because I don’t want you anymore doesn’t mean you should get to be anyone else’s.
No Pain
Today your face popped into my head for the first time in a very long while. And then I realized I could still breath and that familiar pain in my chest, it never came. Instead my first thought was, “Good riddance.”
Hat
After you left at 2am, for the last time, I sat down on the hard, cold floor by the door and cried for an hour. Then I realized you left your hat and I cried myself to sleep wearing it.
