Do you remember sitting in the dark telling bad jokes? And planning to live in space? And sending Jurassic Park pickup lines? I don’t need you to be happy and I don’t need a big commitment, please just tell me about more of your favorite movies.
One night we took pictures with my digital camera that turned out blurry; you told me, “Someday we’ll look back on these and almost be able to hear ourselves laughing.” I guess I always thought you meant we’d be looking back on them together…
I wish I was tough enough to tell you to never speak to me again, but I just wind up white-knuckle gripping the pieces of you I still get. Just like I always wish I would have ordered my own dessert but just wind up nibbling on yours.
We were so young, what else were we to do? We had nothing to give but ourselves, pulling and ripping each other apart until there was nothing to give except hollow eyes and empty i love yous, our bodies, and it didn’t even feel special anymore, it never really did, just empty angry lust for something greater.